I don't usually arrange sex via text message
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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