I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
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At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
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I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize