he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
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I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
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You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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