i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize