I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize