you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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