i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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