Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
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We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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