so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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