whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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