she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
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He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
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Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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