No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
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