She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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