I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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