Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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