i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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