Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
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Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
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My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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