Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having hate sex.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize