Im at strip club and am horny
Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
It's like God shit irony all over that family
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize