Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize