I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
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I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
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We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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