REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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