I understand why you refuse to be sober now
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize