You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
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i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
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I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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