I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
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Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
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he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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