eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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