He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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