I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize