Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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