Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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