I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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