yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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