he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
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