I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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