The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize