She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just want to make out with him forever
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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