You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize