You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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