just tell him i said nine months
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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