I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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