What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize