It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Hippo gnu deer
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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