i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize