It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
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