I got chris browned last night
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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