Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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