have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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