somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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