He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize