I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
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